The week-long seshin (traditional meditation retreat) was the most trying test my mind has ever had to handle. First four days- I loved everything but zazen (sitting meditation)- which also happened to be the central activity during the retreat! I loved the traditional chants (in Japanese), the tedious but mindful simplicity of oryoki meals, where each person is in charge of washing their own bowls and utensils immediately after the meal, without leaving the table. The dharma talks about the inevitable passing of people made me bawl like I haven't bawled in a long time. And the sangha, the community of individuals gathered at the zendo, all had pursued during their lifetime the kind of beyond-the-rat-race personally meaningful professions that a lot of people leave as buried wishes.
Ultimately, however, life intervened and I discovered, with the help of the teachers there, that this place is not for me at this moment in time. Now I begin another journey, to get a certain part of my life straightened out, if that is possible, but one has to keep the faith, one has to hop.
(and hope too, I suppose)
26 June 2009
23 May 2009
Life, when meaningless
Wow. My mind is flowing again. Everyone goes through slumps, but I prolonged and made mine worse by giving in to every hang-up imaginable and closing the door to all the amazing people I know who only wanted to help. Fortunately for me, amazing people also tend to forgive. Now I know why sometimes some roads are less traveled. I, for one, would not go down it again, except for the undeniable fact that it led me here.
Here is Treetop Zen Center, tucked away in the tiny town of Oakland, Maine. It feels early to begin describing how special this place feels to me. Once I pick the camera back up, any curious eyes who come to this page will get treated to a visual feast. Te juro. But the true experience requires being present so come visit!
All I really want to get into with this first entry is to share my take on the title of this post. Through one lens it means life was pretty shitty when I was doing the hermit thing. Life is people. Life is community. You woulda thought that after two years in the Peace Corps, I'd have that stamped in the heart but I guess I could only do it when everything was swimmingly swell. Through another lens, the title still applies now. Because I'm learning from my Zen teachers, Stef, Margaret and Peter, that attaching meaning is what can also trip us up, and when we drop the meaning, we can see that life is glorious.
Oh yea, ha Stef oñe'e Guaranime. The story behind that to come, but also on his website bio-
http://www.treetopzencenter.org/Teachers.html
I move to Maine on June 13! Time to learn the true meaninglessness of tranquilidad.
Here is Treetop Zen Center, tucked away in the tiny town of Oakland, Maine. It feels early to begin describing how special this place feels to me. Once I pick the camera back up, any curious eyes who come to this page will get treated to a visual feast. Te juro. But the true experience requires being present so come visit!
All I really want to get into with this first entry is to share my take on the title of this post. Through one lens it means life was pretty shitty when I was doing the hermit thing. Life is people. Life is community. You woulda thought that after two years in the Peace Corps, I'd have that stamped in the heart but I guess I could only do it when everything was swimmingly swell. Through another lens, the title still applies now. Because I'm learning from my Zen teachers, Stef, Margaret and Peter, that attaching meaning is what can also trip us up, and when we drop the meaning, we can see that life is glorious.
Oh yea, ha Stef oñe'e Guaranime. The story behind that to come, but also on his website bio-
http://www.treetopzencenter.org/Teachers.html
I move to Maine on June 13! Time to learn the true meaninglessness of tranquilidad.
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